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Hi Kym,
Not sure exactly what you are asking
for. It may be that you want "a bit of advice" or it might be
that you are wondering about becoming a client and want some
reassurance that your daughter's behaviour is the type of
behaviour with which we are successful.
I am afraid that we no longer attempt to
give one or two emails with advice because parents need more
analysis of their particular problem than this allows. The
problem has often been created over many years and although we
are usually able to change the required behaviours in a matter of
weeks we feel it is not realistic to expect this change from one
or two emails. Parents almost always need monitoring and support
in implementing the strategies we suggest.
Yes, the behaviour you describe does
sound typical of the type of behaviour that we successfully
change. This is the type of behaviour that we
are very experienced in changing.
I could indicate to you why it is that the sanctions
(punishments) you impose on your daughter do not seem to affect
her, but a change in this area needs to be combined with a
fundamental shift in the way that you handle her in other key
areas.
We will need to train you and tips alone, I am afraid, will not
help you with that process.
We work with parents
on the basis of a visit to your home to hear the detail of the
problem that you are experiencing; and set out a clear analysis
of the reasons we think your child is behaving in that way; then
we spell out a clear strategy for you to follow to change the
behaviour.
Following the consultation day you begin
using the techniques we suggest straight away and you phone us
each evening (including weekends) until all the behaviour that
causes problems has completely gone.
This process usually takes between three
and five weeks but can be longer. Regardless of the time
involved we charge a single set fee and continue to work with you
until you are satisfied that the behaviour will not
return.
An email with advice will not really help
you as you will need help each day at the beginning to avoid the
responses to your daughter's behaviour that are natural to you at
the moment. We will also need to train you to use responses
that target the behaviour more precisely than the responses that
you have tried so far. Your daughter is as trapped by this
behaviour as you are so your responses to it need to be carefully
modified. We would need to work with both yourself and your
husband and it is best (where possible) if one or other of you
can use an extension line when you phone.
We have a 100% success rate with
this type of behaviour.
I will be happy to talk to you further if
you wish on 0208 653 9768.
I will be the consultant working with you
should you wish to use our services.
Warwick Dyer
Behaviour Change Consultancy
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